This should probably go into my AstralCandy.com website, but I will be putting it here since it is mostly about in-game social interactions more than the actual game itself. I’m not even sure if this is appropriate at all, but I’m frustrated and slightly disgusted over the turn of events and need a place to channel my thoughts onto. It shall also serve the purpose of informing others on the story behind the mass stream of tweets between myself and a few other people.
For a few weeks now, a person I had considered to be a good friend decided to leave my LS (a guild of sorts in the game known as Final Fantasy XI, but acts merely as a chat channel between people) because of several reasons. To name a few:
1.) Not liking that we are on Skype for most of our runs. We have invited said person a few times, but have been declined even after an offer was made to purchase an appropriate headset for their personal usage and to be able to at least hear our conversations.
2.) Feels that they are unwanted because of reasons that are beyond my realm of comprehension. Yes, I’ve counter argued my point but it had fallen on deaf ears…
3.) Was upset because I snapped due to the negativity being brought upon right before an event was to take place. Experiences are one thing, but if its complaining about drop rates or what have you… I don’t really care to hear it. Its then moved beyond experiences and lamenting over not getting the luck of the draw on items. I personally don’t like going into something with a defeatist attitude; I’d rather remain upbeat and positive and as a leader its my job to keep everyone’s spirits up.
4.) Is jealous because I fuss over someone else other than them. This floors me as everyone else knows its out of humor. Only ONE person thought I was in love with Mr. Robot Monk and this other person in particular? Is just downright jealous over this person.
5.) HATES the fact she is competing for drops against other people who are supposed to be her teammates and friends or that someone else is even interested in leveling a job she has.
I’m sure there are more, but those are what I can personally recall at this moment. Needless to say, I have been conflicted about this situation. I like this person, but I do NOT like the negativity, how this person enjoys playing the act of a victim, or the hypocrisy concerning ignoring and being ignored, who is being negative and at what degrees, and greed levels of various in-game items. At the same time, I’m happy because I like the fact people aren’t being poisoned by the negativity, and that I don’t have to deal with the hypocrisy and feeling slighted at being ignored or even stressing out if what I am doing will be satisfactory to this person. The last part is an admittance that I had catered a lot of things to fit this person’s needs and have tried to act within reason. However, complaining that there are too many people in the LS (which there aren’t), making consistent complaints about your jobs, or even being slighted that we are aiming to get someone an item for their future job that is the same as theirs is… ugh. I have no words!
The sad thing is, I’m not sure what to do. The last time I spoke with this person, I was so brutally honest I almost slapped myself. This is especially hard because this person flips out at the slightest provocation. I’m told they almost flipped their lid when they were told by a good friend of mine that he had no sympathy for someone stating they were tired when he hadn’t slept in over a day. Then I was surprised that this person felt spurned because our responses are terse when we are on Skype and multitasking. I found this frustrating since I can’t help but be terse when I’m trying to pull up information, answering questions on Skype, engaging in conversation, and looking at the chat for things flying by. I suck at multitasking effectively and me typing concise responses is my way of getting the information out quickly so that I can go onto something else. Is that bad?
But I guess overall, I’m ok. This person feels its best for all parties that they had left the LS. I don’t agree but I’m also tired. I don’t want to drag someone back who doesn’t want to be there, and I already made an argument countering their misguided thoughts. I also don’t want to have to keep worrying about whether they will come, if they will throw a fit, or what have you. I feel awful thinking that way though because it almost feels like I don’t care or am ungrateful…
I just want to have a nice environment to go to. Is that too much to ask for?