Changes to the blog

In the coming weeks, I’m planning some changes to the blog. I am still debating between splitting my game and personal blog, but I know that if I do decide to blog more ffxiv I am sure my boyfriend will stare and wonder why I am not posting it on…

To be honest, sometimes I get an anxiety attack when I think of blogging ffxiv related things. I think of my early experiences with ffxiv (in-game and out) and with choice people I am very glad to have out of my life, and I can feel my entire body tense up and feel like shit. I know that sounds dramatic, but those choice four – five people were really too much for me to deal with and make me particularly reluctant to join some linkshells. It also makes me incredibly happy to be where I am and with mostly chill people who don’t have sticks up their asses or aren’t fucking insane (in a bad way). All the better if they decide to never come back to ffxiv, but eh… I’m on a different server now, so whatever.

But back to the blog. I am also planning to do it more in the style of a microblog. I know this sounds crazy when taking into consideration I am active on twitter, but I also have times when I wish to blog more than 140 characters can allow me. Tumblr is currently an alternative, but I am wanting to give WP another chance. There is also the level of control on WP vs. Tumblr that I am reluctant to give up.

So, expect to see more of my ill written blog entries. I hope. We know how well I’ve been keeping to my word of blogging more so far! <_<;

Thoughts on blogging

I’ve made resolutions in the past to blog more and have many random thoughts and desires of wanting to blog more. I often open up WordPress, Word, or any number of programs I use to write with, and more often than not I end up not publishing whatever gibberish I wrote or planned to write. Funny thing is, I wasn’t always this way. I had a Livejournal and another self hosted blog that I would write in whenever the mood struck me. Random things, short things, long things, whatever. It was written and published without so much as a second thought. Ah, to be young, naive, and free of inhibitions!

I am older now, more conscious, more aware, and more conflicted. Many blogs I read are written very eloquently, themed, have deep thoughts and me!? I’m some putz that just writes about weird shit no one really cares about and in a way that makes one kind of wonder how the hell I earned my degree (I know I do).

I’ve thought about this for a very, very long time. This thought about my thoughts on blogging, my views on it, and how I’ve approached it. And you know what? I’m kinda tired of it. I miss the days of blogging just to blog. Twitter has taken up that space, but sometimes there are things I want to write that need more than just 140 characters. Sometimes I want to just ramble and rant and rave and seem like a lunatic. Where can I do that without restraint? Duh, here.

And you know what? I have nothing to lose. I have no viewership. I have no dedicated readers. I just have me. Me and my damn blog. I’m blogging the way I want to, dammit, and no one is gonna stop me!

Thoughts on Legend of Korra – Season 1

I have been trying very hard to will these thoughts away by trying to tell me that I should let go because its just a kid’s show. Then I start rewatching the episode on iTunes and I get riled up again to the point of wanting to punch something. So here I am at 11 p.m., at my desk and dozing off, and willing myself to write out my thoughts on Korra instead of stewing on them. Of course, the entry is primarily on the last episode and is full of spoilers. You have been warned.

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E3 Not Good Enough?

Like many people who currently play FFXIV or are remotely interested in the game, I’ve been eagerly anticipating the arrival of E3 2012. E3 is usually something I look forward to since we get to see what new games or expansions to current MMOs are coming out for the next year. It is the BIGGEST event for a gamer and seemed even bigger for FFXIV’ers because they would finally reveal the 2.0 preview video. Then the Letter from the Producer XXVIII dropped. Yoshida mentions he is on his way to E3, they plan to kick off the promotion video, unveil the promotion site for 2.0 after E3 ends, and I can tell you that my excitement is building as I read these words because it is something I’ve been eagerly anticipating for a long time; not just as a player but also as a person trying to do something in the community by doing the Sequence Break XIV podcast and Zantetsuken site. However, in one fell swoop this excitement that has been cultivated for months? The giddyness that FFXIV was going to be the most awesome come back kid is now flushed down the toilet. Why? Because they wanted 2.0 to come out with a bang. Not a trickle of information. A huge flood of information that would just awe and amaze us outside of E3.

…. Right. The biggest event for any gamer, publisher, or news media person, and would most likely garner the MOST attention from the gaming community on what FFXIV has done to become a better game is not a good platform to showcase the finished 2.0 promotion video. Because who the hell wants just a trickle of information when you can have a flood? Who wants a video when you can have a website AFTER e3? Appealing to new players? And possibly PS3 players? What better way to do that than not to do this at (excuse my language) fucking E3.

I’m dumbfounded. I’m also very hurt and angry. As someone who has done what she can to promote FFXIV to her friends and listeners of SBXIV, I have really tried to amp up 2.0 and told many people to wait until E3 if they are interested in FFXIV. I’ve managed to bring my friend, brother, and possibly my sister into FFXIV. I have also talked to other players and tried to convince them to play FFXIV now and to see what exciting news would come out with the promotional video being released at E3. Now? I feel like a fool. The rug has been pulled from underneath me. I told many people that Yoshida is awesome, because he is awesome and the things he has done for FFXIV so far have been really great. The past year I’ve also renewed my faith in SE after the initial failure of FFXIV and (in my eyes) FFXIII. Then this happens and I’m left with shit in my mouth and questioning what the hell I’ve been doing for almost a year with SBXIV (formerly Go Team Derp!), Zantetsuken, and on twitter.

I know that sounds dramatic, but I’m trying to wrap my head around this and I can’t. I understand that they want to do what is best for 2.0, because I also wish for the same thing. But not showing a video at E3 is probably missing the biggest opportunity to reach to new and former players who just brushed FFXIV under the radar even with the Welcome Back Campaign. I’d understand if they said that the video wasn’t finished. I’d be cool with that. Knowing it is finished and not being revealed is what is really mind boggling to me. The interviews that are to come are going to be exciting, but nothing would have beat actually seeing visuals of 2.0 — even if it were just all CG. Garnering interest would have at least put more seeds in people’s minds for something to look forward to. It would be a seed that hopefully will grow to, “Hrm. Maybe I should check out this website!” when the site launches and to hopefully go to, “Oh, I remember that trailer at E3! Maybe I should check this game out!” At the very least, it would have solidified the reason for people to continue to sub after returning to the game. Legacy status is a big enough reason in and of itself, but it means nothing if there is no visuals to help tease the players into wanting to stay for what will come.

So what now? I’m hoping that the release of the promotional video in August will mean they will have a larger presence at PAX Prime where players can actually look and (hopefully, but I am no longer holding my breath) test the demo. It would get directly to the players themselves or at least 70-odd thousand of them. Its not as media heavy as E3, but it is at least a mini one. Orophen and I plan to be there, as well as FusionX from Gamerescape. I’m going to try to convince myself that someone from SE is reading my tweets (well, I know ONE of them sort of is) and is holding off this whole thing just for the sake of us. I know that is crazy and full of shit, but it is the only sense of comfort I can give myself right now after such a huge blow of disappointment.

Blackout, Schmackout

So, today the internet is supposed to be taking its stand against SOPA and PIPA by blacking out their sites. For a few reasons, I am not doing so. To be honest, I think it is silly to do for a smaller site like the ones I run.

Wikipedia and the larger sites blacking out their websites are doing so as a symbolic gesture and bring awareness to the masses (I’m sure there are many users out there who still have no flipping idea what SOPA or PIPA is or what it could mean for them). They can get away with it because millions of people view their site everyday seeking information or content that the SOPA/PIPA bill may affect. But the smaller sites who are attempting to make the same gesture? I’m not really convinced it does much of anything. My audience are net savvy people, and pretty much know what is going on out there in the world. They know that SOPA/PIPA is something that could pretty much damage the internet as we know it today. Will they honestly give a flying fuck if my blog is down? Most likely not. Maybe one or two individuals will, but in the overall grand scheme of things it doesn’t really do anything. It is like taking out one grain of rice out of a bowl full of them. Are you really going to miss it? Is that ONE grain going to make a difference? Even if you take out many more, what message does it really send? Its just gone and gone for a short intermittent amount of time. In a few hours (or a day), the grains of rice will come back into my bowl and I don’t have to really concern myself with, “Fuck, I have no more rice.”

Now, I’m not really saying that I am against people taking action or that I am for SOPA/PIPA (that couldn’t be further from the truth). I’m just saying to do something that is actually meaningful if you really care all that much. I can’t really push myself to do something that a.) I don’t feel right about and b.) doesn’t logically make sense to me no matter how I slice it. And trust me… I can easily bend things to make things seem justifiable. Blacking out my sites? I can’t. Even though SOPA/PIPA has the potential to adversely affect the things I love to do online besides gaming, my webpages being blacked out temporarily isn’t really proving to do anything that is meaningful to the cause against these propositions. Cause let us be honest with ourselves here; the people who will be putting to vote on this damn bill aren’t looking at all these webpages thinking, “Well, damn, son. We gotta git this bill turned down cuz these durn webpages are going offline ‘ere.”

This here? This is what I am going to do. I am going DIRECTLY to the people who will shape our future. Not the ordinary Jack and Jill. The people I voted into power will care if I reelect them or not. Keep tabs on WHO votes for or against it, or who is going for or against it and let them know you support or are against them and why. They are there to serve you because, hey, they were voted into that power. Talk to em. Cause taking down a page for a day ain’t really doing shit, and I think if you want to really make a difference then going the extra mile to contact the powers that were voted to be will go a much longer way than taking down your website for a day.