Tag Archives: blm

Team Derp Returns to FFXIV

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We’ve talked about it and we did it. We came back to XIV. To what capacity? I have no idea. At the moment we are currently on Mysidia which seems to be a server largely populated by the Japanese. Some are ranking up quite nicely while there are others like myself and Orophen who had waited to level up together and then managed to get levels pretty quickly thanks to the patches.

Right now its a good change of pace. There are still things wonky in XIV, but its also apparent things are different and are changing. There are a handful of changes that have been good and others that aren’t as much. Personally, I’m enjoying the auto-attack. My boyfriend has been very adamant against it and still doesn’t seem to like it very much. He even scorns those that now complain the battles are slow because of the introduction of auto-attack. I don’t personally see it, especially since I’ve had to deal with cool down timers a lot as a mage. What DOES suck is how much more easily I seem to get hate now than I did then (unless I am remembering things incorrectly). Curing, for example, can easily get me killed if I don’t let Orophen establish enough hate via weapon skills. It is almost as though I have dumped a bunch of Cure IVs on him and bam! I’m mowed down like a punk ass. Nuking in and of itself is also a crazy mess but it has also inadvertently saved the day many times thanks to the high amount umbral and astral damage it does; definitely more than I remember it having done when I was leveling THM aeons ago. However, I’m still eagerly waiting for BLM as it is far more potent and suits my tastes far more than the debuffer position that THM holds. Though I guess I should be more aware of how many more deaths I’m going to eat when I do make the switch over…

As for our XI exploits, they will sort of be haphazard during the month of August. My schedule will be chaotic due to a visiting relative, and I’ve left care of the team in the hands of Hiroshiko, Rubicon, and Orophen. Two of them I know I can count on. One of them is questionable at best, and has me worried if anything will happen at all during my absence. There has also been an issue within the linkshell itself, of which I go into detail here. Since then more bits of drama had been pasted onto it, and I’ve found that neither party is willing to make its move; which is fine by me. I’m OK with a stalemate because I personally see no reason to do any chasing and I’m sure the other person is feeling the same way. My only desire at this point is for my members/friends (for me and my ls the two are synonymous) to stop being stalked and checked up on for absurd reasons. Example of absurd reason: fear of being replaced despite having a.) left and b.) me asking members to overlap on jobs if they are both willing and able even when said person was still with us. We are a small LS that fills in holes for others when they aren’t there or needing to cover other areas; I would be doing us a disservice not asking them to cover jobs if they are willing and able to do so. There are also people that just want to level the job because they want to without me having to poke and prod them; who the fuck am I to tell them to stop? That is their prerogative and I won’t kick them just because they are doing something that the other person does out of sheer boredom.

/sigh Now I need aspirin…

Hidden Trait: Vs.Mandragora DMG+60%

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No, that’s not a real trait. Well, maybe in the minds of Kyoshin, Hiroshiko, and Reiokyu who know my strong desire to one day have a ginormous Mandragora (larger than Chloris mind you) try to destroy the world and me fighting it in amazing glory. Because there is no one else better to rule the world than moi and I ain’t letting no damn onion do it! Unless it wanted to be my pet, then that’s another story!

These numbers don't really exist. It is just a part of your imagination!

The comment about my supposed hidden traits came last night after a fluke which I will stay firm on until the day I die. After all, the mob was DC AND an onion! So of course it would just magically spike up that way! That is going to be my reasoning and excuse for Reiokyu who just laughed with the others when I feebly cried help after I aggroed a mob and didn’t have buffs up after I pulled those numbers out of no where. TT_TT I swear, maybe it was just the whole Friday the 13th vibe because I did damage that I normally wouldn’t do that night.

At any rate, since the merger I’ve seen so many new faces on the server that I have to at times take a double take because there are either names close to people I actually know or knew formerly. One name that had me nearly choking on water was the thought that Cozma had come back. I distinctly remember so many people practically celebrating with delight when they found she was leaving the server so many years ago. To think it was that long ago that I was playing, too!

The numbers itself on Ragnasith is in and of itself phenomenal. It has been such a long time since I have seen the server so full of people that it had brought back many memories of being a lowbie in the crowded areas of Lower Jeuno for the first time and being awestruck at the higher level gear at the time. I had that nostalgic feeling seeing more people in decked out +2s and Level 90 Empyrean weapons and being in the gear that I am in. Though I am only thankful I haven’t been told outright I am a gimp because I know that has happened to a few friends of mine since the merger…

The increase in competition hasn’t affected us so far though, since we were able to get Orophen and Newbus their +1 hand seals, get Lexshu a zone clear, and even fulfill my desire of killing Amarok. Didn’t get the seals I was hoping for, but at least I have the Steaming Cerberus Tongue for when Hiroshiko returns and we can get people in the LS their Atheling Mantles. I just hope I can get the seals before I get 9/9 on Jewel of Ardor from Prophecy…

Oh, and one last bit of news! I am back on TTO! Thanks to the admin (Erik) for getting my details back onto the server! Huzzah!

{Black Mage} {princess} {You can have this.} /slap

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I will feel almost like a hypocrite writing this because I have understandably leveled mostly the “princess” classes since I started playing XI: WHM, BRD, and then BLM as it has been reseated with the advent of Abyssea. However, because I think I usually played as those classes, I never really encountered the whole princess attitude until last night. Maybe I have, but I just don’t remember. I just can’t stop thinking of the Elvaan male BLM cocking his head, snapping his fingers, and swaying his hips with gusto as he demanded chests to be opened for him and wonder… “Why?”

I know BLMs are needed. I know people want the azure, the nukes, and people who can sleep all the mobs that are pulled. My problem is that I don’t get why people need to pull an attitude and feel they are above others when they really aren’t. If you see there is something in a chest and can’t open it, to me that just screams you are stupid and lazy. If you don’t bother going off to solo mobs near the party at level 90, then you are still stupid and lazy. Its like this cancer that is dressed up in pretty clothes and high damage numbers, but is still in the end a cancer that is feeding off of others and inflating an ego that is too large for its own good.

I guess what bugs me the most is that I know if I were there, I wouldn’t be pulling the unnecessary attitude because it just screams bullshit. BLMs aren’t the end all be all of XI. Especially when there are so many others that can fill that space and not pull out the princess wank. In fact, I’d probably take a BLM that wasn’t doing as much damage if they had a better attitude over one that has a piss poor attitude. /rant

Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, I am happy to announce that my BLU is now 90 and that I was able to upgrade my Goetia Gloves to +2.

I feel a bit weird about BLU at the moment. I feel as though I am not doing sufficient amount of damage, and that is attributed to several things that correlate to gear, merits, and possible spell choices. The gear choices I am sure will take some time as BLU isn’t my primary focus in any of my LSes, and that merits and such will come as I get back into the groove of playing that class again. Though a part of me is wondering if maybe I am over thinking things and I am actually doing ok… something I doubt as I can’t help but get a nagging feeling at the back of my head every time I am playing as a BLU. Quad. Cont. for example has numbers flying all over the place with the lowest at 479 and the highest clocking in at 2413… but I can’t complain too much since I was at least dealing the most damage before Reiokyu joined in the fray. So, eh? ._.;

When Luck Runs Out

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A good friend of mine, Reiokyu, often comments on my luck vs. his. I don’t necessarily believe I’m luckier than others, even if I do end up rolling high and ganking almost all the items from a treasure pool at times. Reiokyu is a good guy. I know people take advantage of it. I might even be guilty of it at times, but try to repay his kindness by allowing him to take me along as a good luck charm!? Yeah, he’ll probably shake his head and say it doesn’t work that way, but oh well.

The runs with Prophecy this week was fun on Monday and then became an utter mess on Tuesday when the run ran incredibly long and we had to watch with our jaw dropped after the derpyness of things. I’m even sad I had to leave towards the end because it had gone on longer than I anticipated and had other real life obligations to attend to.

I’ll try to keep it as short as I can because being around sick people this entire week is probably starting to heavily get to my immune system. I slept for a long time after getting home today, and am still feeling fatigued and my throat sore. Am already worried if I will survive tomorrow, but we’ll see…

Anywho, after some conversations with a friend here and there, I have started to feel frustrated with some people. I had started to feel that maybe everyone isn’t what they seem and that all that does matter in a video game is just the loot and items. Screw courtesy or even friendships, right? I know, that’s a very pessimistic view and that I know for certain it isn’t true. However, at times when you are being inundated with wambulance over items, being behind, or the attendance numbers in a group being too large, the last thing I am able to do is think clearly and without bias. Then… this happens and I can’t help but feel humbled and just utterly floored at the same time:

I didn’t think I would get all the items in that one run, and I only have Klife to thank for allowing me to lot on the three Stones of Balance that was in the pool. Needless to say, I eagerly went out to upgrade my pants and got this beauty:

It is most definitely better than +1, which I was wary of using due to the fact I hadn’t noticed better improvement on my nuking damage with them on and had at times seen even WORSE numbers than while wearing Teal Slops. With +2? Oooh boy, was it a marked improvement! Am definitely liking them and am looking forward to getting more of my +1 and +2 out of the way.

Moving onto Tuesday I can’t help but have a bad taste in my mouth as I look back onto it. It was a rather sloppy run which I attribute to possible exhaustion or just maybe it was just one of those derpy days. Who knows? If you are on my twitter list and my conversation with Kyoshin, you will probably know some of the finer details. I even made screenshots, but… I may refrain from posting some of them because the night was so derptastic towards the end that I may just end up marring my name further by posting them.

Instead I will post one of the screenshots vs both since I don’t want to receive any <_<; messages from Reiokyu over it.

Fought when one of the other pop NMs for Rani was being fought by a soloing BST. When looking back on this, it would have been better to have just sat and waited for the BST to finish than having to fought and suffer through this. I say suffer because, well… it was just bad. I’m sure anyone who is familiar with cacutaurs can imagine and won’t delve any further than this.

In closing, I’m kinda not looking forward to the end of the month. With Hiroshiko leaving for a month and a half or more, I’m really going to miss having him around. Not only do I see him as my little brother, but he’s one of the few people I can vent to and have understand my plight sincerely. Well, and we need someone to kick around on Skype…. ;X

B is for BLM, BLU, and Birthday!

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First of all, thank you to all the kind people that sent in birthday wishes to me when the clock dinged midnight on the 17th! You guys are awesome! Also been really great just getting continual birthday wishes throughout the day, even though I am (sort-of) not really thrilled over the idea of birthdays. Maybe I’m just getting old? Well, that’s not true. Because I do want to be pampered and was saddened when I wasn’t pampered for awhile by the boyfriend! So, yeah. I won’t be celebrating it until next weekend though, because of things that just went on and poor planning. So… yeah. But! Despite that, I think that a good week was had mostly!

I’ve included an image of my BLU because I’ve decided to finally go after spells again. I know. Its been sitting at 85 for awhile now and I have been trying to go after spells for who knows how long. This time, however, I’ve managed to make headway and am now just 28 spells short of knowing all of the current spells out there. Lets hope I can continue this progress and ding 90 before Hiroshiko takes his month and a half long hiatus away from XI! Even though I prefer casting as BLM, I think it will be nice once I get my BLU up to speed and better geared. How? I don’t know. I’m sure it will happen somehow…

Already my BLM is shaping up nicely. Managed to walk away with several things this week that include:

Thanks to the people over at Prophecy and my friends on mreh for helping! Especially for the utterly epic Friday night that was just so omfg worthy that I wish I had recorded it. From us taking on Indrik the sparkly unicorn on a utter whim to Reiokyu zombie fighting it and then Hiroshiko brewing it and then trying to fight Yaguarogui on brew but only to watch in utter lolz fashion as the bloody tiger was healed for 26k HP. THAT WAS AWESOME. Almost beats the backwards self racist talks (I know, it doesn’t make sense does it?) talk going on followed by the revelation that Walruses are damn pervy when they get their ass tapped a little too much.

Waiter, there is a fly in my soup!

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These past few weeks have been pretty crazy busy that I’ve started to think I need to cut back in some areas of my online gaming (primarily XI stuff) to focus on other things. Trying to figure out what to nix, however, is the tricky part since I enjoy all of it… but it needs to be done since I do have other commitments to attend to.

Enough of my woes, however, and onto the meat of things!

Since there are more people in mreh (the XI linkshell name), I’ve been feeling a little overwhelmed as to what to do and how to schedule things and decided to put up a poll. I wanted to cover as many things as possible that people were interested, but also keep in mind that we have other things to do to help a wide scope of my friends.

Sooooo… since the poll was leaning towards XIV earlier in the week, I decided to go ahead and schedule it in for Tuesday. Its been awhile since I had even touched the game and was a bit surprised at some of the changes. I don’t honestly keep up with all the news nowadays, because they aren’t the huge changes in game play and such I am hoping to see at the moment.

There were other changes that were kind of neat and scary at times. Changing the mob size didn’t seem like such a huge thing to me at first, until we had actually gone onto the field saw saw a Fat Dodo and my first response was, “Wow. That’s a fat dodo!”

Its more impressive when you are fighting against Gnats and well… they end up looking more hideous than they did before.

It was most definitely strange going back into Eorzea after the hiatus from the quake and self imposed due to lack of interest or time. Healing is still a pain and totally not fun at all. Then again, neither is playing an Archer solo… I really wanted to just bang my head on something when I switched to my Miqo’te and was unable to play without feeling disgruntled. About what? I wish I knew. Archer probably isn’t my job of choice anymore, but neither is the idea of wielding an axe and getting my kidneys plucked out by Dodos.

On the XI realm of things, I’ve been trying to do what I can to maximize my damage. I guess I have an e-boob (you know, because I don’t have a penis?) problem in that regard but at the same time am too darn lazy to change some things (my macros) or go out and get my staff trial done and over with. My progress on upgrading all my Goetia pieces to +1 is slightly halted in attempt to get other people their +1s as well. Am so far rocking out in my Goetia Petasos and now this little gem:

I had quested most of the seals for this one, since I had found a pretty easy quest to do so. With this quest, I was able to upgrade my Goetia Gloves to +1 and my Mavi Bazubands to +1. Although it was quite frustrating during the runs for my very last seal when I would get nothing BUT bolts, caller’s, or bale seals to be thrown away like trash. Yet the wait and time put into it was well worth it since I was able to push my damage up closer to 4k without Ascetic’s drink. Searing Cape also helped, and I’m cursing myself for having given up the opportunity to lot on it before during the other times it dropped when fighting Turul. Oh well. I have it now and am more than happy to strut around with it.

Oh, and note to self: stop equipping full attack atmas when seal hunting. ;o; Am pulling too much damage off of the MNK…

And we’re back!

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Coming back from the break has been really interesting. I say this because a lot of people around me seemed pretty happy about the break and seemed to question why they were still playing and were kinda eh about the whole idea of it. Which was hard for me to relate to, since I had just come back three months ago from my own hiatus. Sure I know the feeling, but I guess my current feelings were clearly opposite of numerous friends. Not that I was grumbling about the server downtime; more like… itching to go blowing things up to oblivion again. I am especially happy about blowing things up after getting a hold of the Atma of the Minikin Monstrosity.

I did a quick check to see how much more damage I did to buffalo and saw about a 200 dmg increase with Beyond equipped. Working on getting Atma of the Ultimate, but I think it will probably be many weeks until I can finally get a hold of that one. Right now trying hard to get my Goetia set upgraded to +1 by any means necessary. I would like to work on BLU, but its frustrating when you find your character is suffering from a learning disability…

It has been pretty interesting with Chakura making a return to XI, Lord Palom from FFXIV moving from the Fenrir server to the Ragnarok server, and having more fun in a more intimate party vs. a huge and (sometimes) annoying pickup alliance party. I am happy to see others make a return to XI, as well on other servers. The game is very different than when a lot of people left it, and I still find it fun to find the new things here and there since my absence and also sad that there are still people around (and possibly more of them as of late) that just make me want to /facepalm.

Here we go, again! Seal Hunting Take 3

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Well, at least I think its take three… either way this time it was a little more productive than the last time we attempted seal hunting in Attohwa. The last time I believe everything BUT the seals we were looking for dropped. We still have had no luck at all with Sylvan seals dropping for Orophen, but we managed to finish off Mekare’s Estoqueur’s Chappel +1 and get myself all 8 Goetia head seals to complete this beauty:

Thanks to Orophen, Reiokyu, Mekare, and Hiroshiko for helping me getting the rest of the seals today! Also want to thank the other Linkshell there that allowed us to alternate popping Wherwetrice. It was mutually beneficial as we allowed them to lot on the WHM seals we managed to get, and they let us lot on their RDM seals for Mekare. Its more than what we can say for the other Linkshell that decided to just swoop in, take the pop, and proceeded to, well…

I was on Skype with Orophen and Reiokyu at the time, and was laughing my head off for a good while due to this. Now, I wouldn’t have laughed so hard if a.) they hadn’t had just swooped in without saying anything to either Linkshell b.) they had looked like they knew what they were doing (the BLM didn’t seem like he knew what he was doing to trigger yellow !! and they took an awfully long time just to kill the damn thing) and c.) they would have at least the sense to pull Wherwetrice in a less aggro prone area. They ended up having to let their RDM run off, and uh… I don’t know what happened after that. My party and the other Linkshell, however, managed to resume business as usual soon after the ordeal and thankfully (or sadly? I could have used more laughs) didn’t see the other party again after that.

For Orophen, we might just have to tackle Nightshade since Kharon didn’t want to put out on Sylvan seals. Which is fine by me since Nightshade looks awfully cute! However, judging by the responses from Hiroshiko and Reiokyu it doesn’t seem like a NM that they are particularly fond of tackling. Which makes me more excited to fight it since it seems cute and dangerous/pain-in-the-ass. :3

Omnomnom Pink Mandy-mallow

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Anyone who had read my blog when it was known as doink! will probably remember the banners I used to have depicting my battles with giant Mandragoras. I LOVE Mandies. I love them to bits! I had always thought the best HNM that could ever exist would be a Mandragora. Just imagine if it kicked you in the face!? Or if it used Dream Flower to sleep half the zone? If anything, I think it would be the coolest thing ever to exist! So I was pretty stoked when Kyoshin invited me out with TTGL to kill Chloris. Although I mostly sat and watched, I couldn’t help but feel giddy and excited. Pink + Giant Flower + Mandy = LOVE Just thinking about it makes me extremely happy and excited, and just in absolute LOVE all over again. Thanks again to Kyoshin + TTGL for allowing me to watch Chloris fun! :3

Needless to say, I have already bugged Orophen/Derrick to make me a new banner with Chloris in it. I <3 epic battles with me and Mandy. If only they brought in the other varieties of Mandragora from FFXII. My world would be utterly complete then! As for this weekend, I have been frustratingly trying to learn BLU spells in Promyvion areas. Yet no matter how long I spend in there, I can't seem to learn anything. It has gotten rather frustrating and if it weren't for the fact I am taking it into Dynamis... I would be apt to just not try for awhile longer. I'll probably go at it again tomorrow, but that will depend on whether or not I am feeling any better. Staying out in gusty 20 degree weather for long periods of time wasn't exactly a great idea for someone with as bad asthma as I have. : Despite my frustrations with trying to learn BLU spells, I have found that working on BLM has helped to alleviate my annoyances easily. I'm still far from being a decent BLM (I still have merits, gear, and skills to work on), but I'm pretty happy to see my damage spike at times. Doesn't seem to want to do so all the time, but I will take what I can get:

For the most part, I am able to solo dolls out in Altepa but… eh… I am tempted to stop accepting party invites out there. Its so horribly over camped and people who go out there with 30 minutes remaining is just kinda eh. Because then the PT leader gets antsy, people are cursing, and ah… I just don’t wanna deal with that kinda mess. Reminds me a little too much about work in some regards… After tonight, however, I may just end up being forced out of BLM. Seems like the seals that love to drop for me are the ones I need the least at the moment. I have plans for Orison, but seeing it in the lotting pools in abundance is darn frustrating. Couple that with the fact Orison feet dropped after killing Gieremund? I think the game is strongly hinting at something here… Orz

My Luck is Magically Delicious

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When I made my return to XI, I wasn’t sure at what capacity I would be coming back. After all, I have a full time job and its one in where I work extra hours because I both have and want to do so. There is also XIV to consider, which has been made into a weekly event between friends to do leves. So I am here chipping away at getting my BLU, BRD, and WHM to 90, getting Atma, gear, doing missions for friends and for myself, and doing Dynamis for gear and money. Its been a fun ride, especially since my little group has expanded to the people I met and played with on XIV, or have talked to during my short tenure at ffxivblog.com.

I am not even sure where to start concerning my adventures, so I will first start with Tuesday from last week and work my way down the week.

For a few weeks, a friend had been asking me to join her and a few of my other friends in another LS to do Abyssea NMs. At first I said I wanted to wait until I reached 90, then I held off on it for a few other reasons, and then decided to go on a whim just to see how it was going to be. To be honest, I was very worried at first. I think I am a so-so player, and I can be ok at times but… I hadn’t read up on anything concerning Abyssea NMs and knew nothing except for what my friends had told me briefly.

We did several NMs, ended up with clears to Abyssea – Konschtat and Abyssea – Misareaux as well as a slew of Atma I didn’t think would fall onto my lap. I even ended up helping to kill Arimsapi and freaking out when I found myself having to kite him around a few times since only a RNG and I were able to do damage to him. Needless to say, it was fun and I was really happy to be invited to tag along. It surprised me further, despite messing up a few times due to a misunderstanding concerning a Stun macro, that I was asked to come back and that I did an alright job. Then again, I had to interact with players that really made me want to face palm at times and actually helped change how I see myself as a player at times. Which, sad to say, is not as dumb and hopeless as I usually think I am.

Wednesday was a Dynamis San d’Oria run, and had me rushing due to a work place meeting. I usually take at least an hour nap before hand, but was yawning so much and so tired I had dozed off a few times for a minute before realizing what was going on. Sleep = good and it seems as I age I do need more than the typical five hours of sleep I get. Either that or I end up waking up with a corner of drool wanting to dribble out of my mouth…

What I was really looking forward to anything else was Thursday and helping Lexshu/Frei and Rubicon finish their CoP mission. The last time I had done this was when I did the clear for myself, Reiokyu, Hiroshiko, my brother (Makai), and Orophen. I was BRD at the time but I remember clearly how my brother had helped save the day thanks to my BLM. Its sort of funny how I had came back to fight Promathia not as a support job but as the very job my brother used to irk me as. It was most definitely shorter than the run I had gone through, and made me miss the longer and much more epic fight we had to endure when we were still 75. It didn’t help any that we didn’t even get to see Promathia deal any of his deadly attacks, since most of the time we were just whacking away at him and watching him poking someone and keep going on.

Afterwards we decided to go hunting down my BLM shoes in Abyssea – Attohwa and then got my WHM to 70. Of course, getting to that level meant a whole new stress and worry with wanting to get Raise III. Although it isn’t as necessary due to the fact EXP is a non-issue with Abyssea, I get uneasy not having spells. Heck, I’m still distressed that I don’t have Fire V, Blizzard V, and Firaja. I could and might buy it, but knowing I could potentially get it free is what prevents me from wanting to fork over the cash that could be used to gear up my WHM for leveling or what have you. Anyway, back to the talk of spells, Reiokyu, Lexshu, and I decided to go tackle E-VASE-ive Action for a chance at Raise III.

It took three tries and the scroll dropped! I find this amusing especially in light of last night. Orophen has been going on and on about my luck. I used to joke about it before because I would sometimes out lot just about everyone in the party with insanely high lots. I was even accused of cheating some how because of how consistently I would lot high numbers and gank just about everything from the treasure pool. I had even (for kicks) put myself into the same party as my friends so that someone could have a chance at Peacock Charm dropping. It dropped then, much to my astonishment, because I didn’t really think much of it. So its with surprise that we managed to go into Assaults the other night, found Jaggedy-Eared Jack for the second time during our second run, and found that the ??? Necklace that dropped was actually a Rabbit Charm. Its the item that my friends have hunted out of principle (the rabbit has usually bested them), and here I was seeing the mob for the second time in my time on XI and seeing the item get into pool easily. Needless to say, it was that very reason I was asked to go Blizzard IV hunting in KRT and found 2/3 of the scrolls we needed dropped. Luck? Maybe. Considering my friend claims that he’s bad luck, maybe it is. Or maybe someone in XI heaven decided to smile upon us and treat us to something good?

I just wish that whatever luck people think I have would apply to my ability to learn spells. Cause BLU spells? Yeah. Not really happening unless I get help. -_-; And even then its not even me who will learn the spell…. /facepalm

I’m really enjoying my time back in XI though. I just wish there was more time in the day to do more stuff. Even more surprising is how much I have fallen in love with BLM. I had come back with the intention of being more in love with my BLU but am more enamored by my BLM and am wanting to do nothing more than dote and learn more as BLM. I still have a long way to go in terms of pushing my damage numbers, but in the meantime? I’m having a blast, and am really happy to have more friends to surround myself with. <3