To Play or Not to Play FFXIV

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I have a bit of time (ten minutes, really), and I am going to try to type out as much as I can to cover something I am asked every once in awhile by former players or players who have never touched the game with a yard stick: Is it worth playing FFXIV right now?

The answer to that question is complex, because ultimately the answer is up to the player themselves. What I can and will do is to provide a guideline as to what the pros are of returning now and why you might want to come back, reconsider, hold off, or find an altogether different game. Again, I am typing this with a ten minute limit so I might exclude some things or my wording might be off. Feel free to leave questions and I will address them as soon as I can.

Pros
1. You can experience content before it goes extinct with the arrival of version 2.0. I can’t remember off the top of my head if this includes two particular Primal battles, but if it does then you might want to get on if you are interested in those particular fights or weapons.

2. Leveling is VERY fast right now. Yoshi-P has mentioned that the rate of leveling will be culled back upon the arrival of 2.0. At the moment there are people who are wearing achievement crowns (actual equipment pieces) for completing level 50 on both Disciple of War and Magic classes. You can use a PL’er but its NOT that necessary unless you are struggling with finding a full party of 8. Find that full party and you can seriously go to town with the rate of exp you will be raking in.

3. See what the game looks like before its huge graphical overhaul. Again, it goes hand in hand with #1 and 2.0.

4. There have been GREAT patches coming out. Traditional jobs have been implemented and add a lot more variety and interesting play to the current system. Classes are by no means obsolete and it is up to the player to decide if the use of a job or class will best suit their needs in their solo, light, or full party make up. Two more patches are also being released that will include more content, wide scale PvE called Hamlet Defense, and then the tweaking of previously mentioned jobs.

5. It is CHEAP. Just get a six month subscription and you’ll be paying for the equivalent of a DS/PSP/3DS/Vita game!

Cons
1. The client is still buggy as hell. Be prepared to test your patience.

2. There is still no mailbox or “real” AH. There is a makeshift one, but it still might drive people crazy with the archaic way of having to put things on sale.

3. 2.0 client is coming in six to seven months. You’ll get a preview of it at E3, but before then we have no idea what the client looks like or anything! We have hints here and there, but that’s all we have.

4. There might not be a lot for the super hardcore to sink their teeth into. There is content, but the breadth isn’t as wide as some other games out there. Sure they have been out there longer, but its something to take note of when considering what you want to do. Though most likely getting the Ifrit and Moogle weapons for ALL classes is something many strive to achieve for before they are potentially gone (again, I am not 100% certain).

And there you have it. My quick and nitty guide to the pros and cons of returning. If you do return, hit me up on Gungnir. I don’t play often (curse you studying and work!), but I do try to lend a helping hand when I can if you just give me a poke on Skype or twitter. :)

Counting Down to v2.0

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There is no secret that sometimes I am frustrated with FFXIV. Often my frustrations are directed at the player-base, once in awhile the dev team, and then there is the wait for 2.0 to arrive. Though it is about 6 months (give or take) before the 2.0 client lands, I sometimes feel as though I am going to hyperventilate with anticipation of what the client will bring. Unlike another well known MMO, there is currently no idea of what the client looks like, plays like, or if anyone outside of the Square Enix offices is beta testing it. All we know is that it simply EXISTS and in some ways that is scarier than remembering how Final Fantasy XIV originally launched over a year ago.

In no particular order, here is what I am hoping the promise of 2.0 brings:

1.) A less buggy and more responsive client.
There are instances when I am literally sitting on the edge of my seat: when the system takes too long to recognize something in intense situations, spells and/or abilities not executing properly, easily cancelled skills from moving when I hadn’t intended to move, and when I need to quickly get an item and the client doesn’t want to detect that I am indeed standing in front of the invisible wall to buy items from inside the Market Wards.

2.) Better music.
I talked about this on the latest Sequence Break XIV episode – Black Mages Don’t Wear Pants, and they did promise a mish-mash of new and old music and even music to distinguish day and night. Awesome! But I am still holding my breath that people such Naoshi Mizuta, Masashi Hamauzu, Hitoshi Sakimoto, or even Yoko Shimomura from Kingdom Hearts, Parasite Eve, and *gasp* Super Mario RPG! The first three genetlemen have worked on previous Final Fantasy titles, and Shimomura is rumored to be working on music for Versus. Don’t get me wrong, Uematsu is great! I love the guy! But there are also FANTASTIC composers that work at Square Enix that don’t get as much recognition as he does and do just as a good a job.

3.) More content (quests, missions, HNMs, instances, etc).
I don’t think this needs much explanation. It IS being added with each patch, but I am hoping we can see a greater increase of this and not just the cleanup of the client we currently have.

4.) Linkshell Administration
I am not making it a secret that I wanted to get rid of someone from my LS to the point of first creating a bounty on his head to have him kicked and then dissolving the LS when the first plan didn’t work out (thankfully we are small enough for this to work out just fine). The thing is… I don’t think I should have to wait for: a.) the person to be online or b.) to be standing directly next to him in order to boot him. In most cases, yes, the leader should be able to talk to the member before booting them. But then you have some vermin who just won’t go or will fight being booted out no matter what. LS Leaders need to have the option to boot people like this and save themselves the headache of having to hunt people down who no longer deserve to be in their LS.

5.) More epic fights.
I know this ties in with #3, but it also deserves its own spot. Because I miss having fights that are a real struggle against and that need more than a bunch of archers, black mages, or what have you thrown at it. Plus, being able to team up with others in greater numbers also has its place and is rather fun at times, too. Yes, I am fond of and am a huge supporter of smaller parties but I also like banding together as an alliance to get things done. Something about that is just satisfying, since it is often many people working together as a team to get something incredible done.

There is probably more, but there is one thing I am hoping won’t change:

The Graphics.
Yeah, let me take a moment to duck and hide from the stones being cast. I understand that the graphics, as beautiful as they are, is also a huge part of the problem for people wanting to play the game. They simply cannot play the game because the system specs are too high for their PC to be able to handle, and some will have to drastically reduce their graphics to Commodore 64 levels in order to play. For those of us who are able to handle the game in all (or most of) its glory: the game looks simply breathtakingly awesome. I find that the way my Lalafell looks is so beautiful compared to graphics in most Western MMOs out there. Part of it has to do with the different sets of styles for Eastern and Western studios, but the intricacies of my armor, the environment, and the general look and feel of my character is something I love dearly. I sat for FIVE MINUTES just noticing all the intricate detailing of my WHM AF. Its kinda insane how much work they put in that!

At the end of the day, however, I am still very excited for the arrival of 2.0. It honestly can’t come soon enough…

Blackout, Schmackout

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So, today the internet is supposed to be taking its stand against SOPA and PIPA by blacking out their sites. For a few reasons, I am not doing so. To be honest, I think it is silly to do for a smaller site like the ones I run.

Wikipedia and the larger sites blacking out their websites are doing so as a symbolic gesture and bring awareness to the masses (I’m sure there are many users out there who still have no flipping idea what SOPA or PIPA is or what it could mean for them). They can get away with it because millions of people view their site everyday seeking information or content that the SOPA/PIPA bill may affect. But the smaller sites who are attempting to make the same gesture? I’m not really convinced it does much of anything. My audience are net savvy people, and pretty much know what is going on out there in the world. They know that SOPA/PIPA is something that could pretty much damage the internet as we know it today. Will they honestly give a flying fuck if my blog is down? Most likely not. Maybe one or two individuals will, but in the overall grand scheme of things it doesn’t really do anything. It is like taking out one grain of rice out of a bowl full of them. Are you really going to miss it? Is that ONE grain going to make a difference? Even if you take out many more, what message does it really send? Its just gone and gone for a short intermittent amount of time. In a few hours (or a day), the grains of rice will come back into my bowl and I don’t have to really concern myself with, “Fuck, I have no more rice.”

Now, I’m not really saying that I am against people taking action or that I am for SOPA/PIPA (that couldn’t be further from the truth). I’m just saying to do something that is actually meaningful if you really care all that much. I can’t really push myself to do something that a.) I don’t feel right about and b.) doesn’t logically make sense to me no matter how I slice it. And trust me… I can easily bend things to make things seem justifiable. Blacking out my sites? I can’t. Even though SOPA/PIPA has the potential to adversely affect the things I love to do online besides gaming, my webpages being blacked out temporarily isn’t really proving to do anything that is meaningful to the cause against these propositions. Cause let us be honest with ourselves here; the people who will be putting to vote on this damn bill aren’t looking at all these webpages thinking, “Well, damn, son. We gotta git this bill turned down cuz these durn webpages are going offline ‘ere.”

This here? This is what I am going to do. I am going DIRECTLY to the people who will shape our future. Not the ordinary Jack and Jill. The people I voted into power will care if I reelect them or not. Keep tabs on WHO votes for or against it, or who is going for or against it and let them know you support or are against them and why. They are there to serve you because, hey, they were voted into that power. Talk to em. Cause taking down a page for a day ain’t really doing shit, and I think if you want to really make a difference then going the extra mile to contact the powers that were voted to be will go a much longer way than taking down your website for a day.

Goodbye 2011, Hello 2012!

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After pushing this back further and further, I now bring to you my Year-in-Review 2011 edition! More specifically, the video game/online edition since this is my gaming blog and all that ish. I’ve debated how I wanted to format this review, and I think the best way to go about it is to break it down one MMO/online game at a time.

Final Fantasy XI
I’m starting with this one because at the start of 2011, we (as in me and my LS) had made a comeback to the game after a few months of waning interest in FFXIV and feeling nostalgia over our lives in Vana’diel. We found that Rubicon was already on our server (Ragnarok) and Frei was cool with the idea of transferring if it meant he would get a chance to finish our favorite expansion storyline: CoP.

It was a rather tumultuous journey in here… I ended up gaming with Chakura more often during our stint in FFXI, losing a friend, playing with the person that brings nightmares to the server, greeting Kimiko onto Ragnarok, and getting having our group nicknamed Derp Squad/Team Derp because of stupid things said/done on Skype during event runs. Not that they usually ended in fail (on rare occasion, I believe), but it was the kinda actions that either brought upon a ton of laughs or a few facepalming actions on our resident Monk.

Things fell apart as they usually do for me when my cousin came over for the month of August. No matter what I try, things just get shaky and weird. It was around this time things went into decline for longer than intended and for different reasons that started off with that month. Which may have been a blessing in disguise since FFXI overall seemed to be going into a direction that was more of a chore rather than fun. Which seemed to make all the more sense when we saw that Tanaka was back on the helm for FFXI, and appeared to be steering it towards more of a senseless grind with no hope for a future expansion. Here is hoping I’m wrong and the new year brings about news of one…

Final Fantasy XIV
This MMO has been interesting to say the least. I’m honestly at a love/hate relationship with the game, and I don’t see it letting up anytime soon. Yoshi-P is certainly an interesting character to say the least, and I look forward to his letters from the producer and translated thoughts from him. If things were different, he is the guy I would have loved to see make a MMO from the scratch vs. cleaning up someone else’s mess. But this isn’t about Yoshi-P as it is more about the game itself. Final Fantasy XIV was spurned by some of us before, taken in with open arms, and then spurned again at times with a tug o’war type of fashion. There is no denying that we are eagerly awaiting 2.0. While I have some doubts of what 2.0 will change and fix, I am still in the belief that it will at least change many things some of us have been suffering through over the course of a year and a half and will continue to suffer through until the release of 2.0.

The Market Ward changes are welcome but still unpolished, the graphics are gorgeous but buggy with its terrain issues, and I’m hoping to the man above that Yoshi-P and the Dev team aren’t listening to the rubbish of including that stupid wyvern pet and other useless additions that don’t really need to be added onto the game. However, since that voice almost seems to be in the majority because of how vocal they are, I am actually starting to believe they might be dumb enough to include something stupid like that damn wyvern. Yes, I hate it and I hate every single moron that firmly believes it would be a good addition to the game. Just listen to the podcast if you wanna hear me spew hate and venom, because I can and still will spew hate and venom for that retarded vocal minority that wants to ruin the future of Dragoon with a silly pet.

Am I paying in a few days? Yes. Despite playing SWTOR and enjoying it a bit, I find myself drawn to FFXIV and wanting to at least be prepared to tackle on content pre and post 2.0. I’m still a little hesitant and I still have my gripes, but I honestly want to see this through and hope that things end up falling into place for FFXIV. There are many GOOD things Yoshi-P and his dev team have done for the game, and I’m in the belief that as long as they don’t give into the demands of the vocal retards (aka the people wanting wyverns) then they will be fine through the year of 2012. Lets just hope I don’t look back on this and regret everything I say…

World of Warcraft
I came back to this game during the tail end of 2011 (October – December), after feeling nostalgic from reading and responding to tweets from players currently playing WoW. My feelings are mixed on this venture. The game has many good points, and I would be a fool to disregard them. I am choosing not to return to Azeroth for a time because of a few reasons:

1.) Its not fun playing without Orophen. I am happiest when I get to play with him. Yes, I play other games without him but its harder for me to stay interested in them when he isn’t around to share that interest with me.

2.) Someone I am trying to avoid started to pick it up again. I think in the future I may try to talk to this person, but I’m not so sure… Things were left in a lurch and I was blamed for things that I felt I shouldn’t have been blamed for when constant invitations were sent and consistently declined. Its a situation that leaves an awful taste in my mouth, and almost makes me want to regurgitate my food just thinking about it. I could pay for my character to be transferred, but its not like I have the money to waste for something that could be used on bills, books, and tuition. Meh.

3.) I don’t have the time. I could do x, y, or z in WoW but I’m focusing on several things at once and I’m not sure raiding can fit into the picture of what I have without sacrificing something I am currently doing (XIV, the podcast, other games, school, work, etc– school and work being the #1 priority here). I honestly don’t like half assing things I am serious about; it leaves a really awful taste in my mouth and raiding would take up focus I could and should spend elsewhere.

So while I really like WoW, its going to probably take a back burner here for me until I can foresee myself being able to commit more time or go to another server without having to level characters from scratch again.

League of Legends
Playing this probably led to me breaking my mouse after so much clicking. I am looking forward to going back to play after I get a new mouse (been holding off on it because I am still on the fence as to which to get), but its a great way to kill a bit of time. Especially against bots. Bots. Bots forever. I still wanna go back in and do try Dominion out again. I’ve only done it a few times, but it wasn’t enough to whet my appetite for it. I’m still needing to perfect how I play with Akali; it would probably do be a butt load of good if I actually remembered what I would make my builds out when I found one that worked. orz

Star Wars: the Old Republic
I had actually a much longer entry for this, but it was gone after the iPad WordPress app ate it. I have my issues with the game I haven’t been vocal about as others thus far; the lack of data log on damage taken and dealt, the lack of brackets in PvP, certain class issues (so far I’m not seeing many abilities that utilize the Stealth ability as an Assassin and that bugs the SHIT out of me), etc etc etc. However, despite my gripes with the game, there are reasons why I play and may continue to do so for a time:

1.) My sister is playing. My sister is NOT an MMO player. She is very much a casual gamer in many ways, but I still love and cherish her. To have her play this game tickles my fancy and I stick around to help guide her into hopefully cultivating interest in other games. Though I have my reservations that will happen since SWTOR appeals to her for the fully voiced cut scenes and because it is easy enough for her to pick up and enjoy without worrying about number crunching and so on.

2.) Because I have a handful of friends who are playing at the moment. I have found that no matter how frustrated I can be with a game (XI, XIV, SWTOR), I can find myself enjoying the game when I am in the company of good friends. I didn’t have that same kind of backing in WoW. Not to say I couldn’t have made the attempt, and in retrospect I could and possibly should have. But then it would go back to the time issue and me feeling guilty that I wasn’t spending enough time in said game. I’m also a person who is rather loyal, and the guilt of abandoning friends who have dealt with my whims for over a year or more seems insane to me at best.

3.) The storyline. I’m sure certain things would have ended up the same despite my choices, but I’ve delighted in some of the choices that have ended up changing things altogether: the Black Talon flashpoint, the Marauder quest line, either sleeping with or killing targets as an Agent have all surprised and delighted me at the same time. There are also interesting ways that crew skills have been utilized in the game, and have I mentioned that I’m in love with my companion? Khem? He may not be the best, but he entertains me and doesn’t judge my being evil unlike Vette. Even though Khem things I am too big for my britches, I still love him like the big flesh eating thug he is.

The previous entry I had written went over in detail my gripes and things I’ve thought about games launching post WoW. I may or may not write this again, but in the end things boil down to this: enjoying the game you are playing and the people you are gaming with. The bigger determining factor for me is and always will be who I am gaming with. It may not be for other people, but no gamer is alike as is proof in the titles we have given ourselves and others: casual gamer, mid-core gamer, normal gamer, hardcore gamer, etc. 2012 will probably change my gaming habits to back to my college days when I was trying to transfer from a junior college to a University. Maybe more so since I am trying to get into a competitive market/field of study. This probably means less gaming overall vs. the surge I had in 2011, but something has to give since I’m going back to school out of my own pocket this time around. Or maybe I’ll win and won’t have to change anything. We’ll see!

So, there you have it. A four page document in Word pasted smack dab in my blog. Expect my next entry in four months or so, hah!

Blogs, Blogs, Blogs!

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Whenever I wake up, I often have good ideas for an entry I want to blog about. I think to myself, “I will write about this tonight! Or as soon as I can!” Then things happen and when I finally sit in front of the computer, poised to write, I feel blank and frustrated. I often forget what to write about and don’t give myself enough time in the morning to actually sit down and even jot a note to myself as to what it was I wanted to write about. It is often one of three problems I have with writing as of late. Maybe four. Er, five? I’m actually not sure how many problems I have with writing. I will probably change my mind as I write, and think to myself that maybe the problem isn’t as big as I thought it was or maybe it is and I’m trying to trivialize it too much.

One problem I know for certain isn’t trivialized is my paranoia over what I write and how I come across. I am always worried how I am perceived; strange given how I often act when I perform for the podcast. I know I try to not care as much when I am in front of friends and in a podcast that I can allow a different persona to take light. My worries over people’s perceptions of me is often attributed to my parents who have driven me to paranoia at times on how my every word, action, and presentation is taken and interpreted especially with other Filipinos present. I remember having become withdrawn due to this frequent paranoia, to the point I had become a recluse in favor of not having to deal with the stress of putting on airs. When it comes to blogging and social media, my inhibitions come in the form of not saying the derogatory comments all the time or doing a lot more potty humor than people would feel comfortable with. In fact, it is taking a great amount of will power to not go and delete a large chunk of this paragraph and it is almost driving me mad not going back to “edit” myself out. Especially when my biggest worry is being perceived as a moron.. which I care about in too many circumstances than I would like to admit.

The third problem I have concerning writing and blogging in particular is the amount of blogs I am either maintaining or writing for. For blogs that are for myself? I currently have… 2 wordpress blogs (astralcandy.com and mreh.net), 1 LiveJournal account that contains cross postings from here and private entries meant for friends only (mreh.livejournal.com), a tumblr account I have messed around on recently when toying with the idea of a photo blog, and a Penzu account for completely 100% private entries. On occassion I also write for zantetsuken.net, and have been making a point to try to write there for participation in our podcast Sequence Break XIV. That is a total of six blogs! None are updated regularly (I’m not sure anyone particularly cares), but I have started to feel that maybe I should consolidate at least two of them into one. This would either mean astralcandy and the tumblr account rolled into one with mreh.net, but I am not quite sure if this will work out for my target audiences regarding astralcandy.com and the issues I have with being able to upload photos with ease on a blog. It is something I will need to talk to Derrick about, but am hesitant to do so since he already has so much on his plate as of late. The last thing I need to do is become an added burden to him, when I am already doing more talk of wanting to bite his head and gnaw it to a bloody pulp. Love knows no bounds until you talk of gnawing your loved one’s head into a bloody pulp, I say.

And, of course, after trying to type out my thoughts and being interrupted by my boyfriend belting out Thriller to conjure up more thoughts of undead and zombies to haunt me… I have forgotten the other things I had wanted to type. See how this is a vicious cycle? It will be a wonder if I am able to write anything again in the future. In the meantime, I will probably try to think about the idea of blogging more; whether I should continue, condense my blogs, or just give it up altogether. I’ve never been confident in my writings or blogging in general, despite my boyfriend saying he enjoys both. It is our way of communicating the unsaid thoughts that go on in my perturbed mind. Unless he becomes a mind reader. Heaven knows I’d love a boyfriend who can read my every thought and avoid the silly non-sense of talking or writing out my demented ramblings.

A Hodgepodge of Thoughts

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I don’t know exactly where to start since my thoughts seem jumbled at the moment, so I plan to just separate it into different topics:

Final Fantasy XIV

I know I was pessimistic about the game last week. I feel a tad guilty about it, but in some ways… I don’t. It sort of felt good to get those thoughts out, but then also be taken aside after a small altercation on Twitter and be told a different side of the story that I hadn’t thought of. I felt I needed that, and it puts a lot of things into perspective concerning the game and its current status. Other than that, I’m happy to be going somewhere with Team Derp. We netted quite a bit of EXP and gil last Friday by just spamming Rank 30 three star leves. The best part? I didn’t feel like dozing off to sleep while doing the leves!

I hope to drag the guys to do NMs and such later this week. It will be good to at least try it, even if we aren’t properly set up for it. I’m kinda not worried about it anyway since things will be changing by the time next year rolls around, but who knows if it will stay or go or morph into something altogether different?

Star Wars: the Old Republic

Despite the quirks things going on with this game, I am charmed by it. Maybe because there is a greater conflict between good and evil, and I actually get to do things like torture and kill people for the hell of it. I think that is what it boils down to, really. Plus, I gotta give a game props if it is able to dissuade my boyfriend from creating a female character because he thinks that the male models are actually DECENT for once.

Sequence Break XIV

So, we renamed the podcast but are still the same kinda podcast, with the same kind of people, and the same kind of -ish going on. We have had bumps here and there, but I’m honestly super happy with the podcast we are doing. Its fun because we record it with the mindset of just having fun. The hits, the comments, and all the other jazz that come with it seem to be icing on the already delicious cake. What really gets to me though? The comments! I’m surprised that we are getting a comment or two from different people. Sure its not a bucket load of comments that some other podcasts get, but it getting that comment or two that really makes me feel warm and gushy inside. I think just getting a comment from a different person is amazing in and of itself. Not that I dislike the people who do comment regularly; but knowing just one other person is listening in is simply electrifying!

Razer Nostromo

Ok, so I bought this because of my wrist issues using my Microsoft Ergonomic keyboard while playing MMOs. The whole WASD and action hot keys mess was really hurting my wrists and making it increasingly harder to play for longer periods of time while on my keyboard. I also wanted more fluid movement while doing WASD and particular actions. I’ve dabbled with the Nostromo in WoW for a little bit on some old characters, and the result is fantastic! I had no problems whatsoever with movement and having abilities at my fingertips made gameplay easier than it was previously. I plan to dabble with it more in SWTOR, LoL, and maybe WoW. I would try it on FFXIV but that seems a little silly since it is far easier to play XIV with my old PS1 controller that it is to bother using the keyboard or keypad. Though I wonder if that will change when 2.0 is released….

Paranoid Thoughts

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Last week the guys from the podcast and I talked about FFXIV’s 2.0. A reboot of sorts for the game and all that shiny jazz, but I couldn’t help but be troubled somewhat. I’ve been very pessimistic and paranoid lately, so I know this isn’t helping matters at all. My main concern was and also is my greatest fear: what if 2.0 doesn’t really change the entire scope of the game. We know what is being revised and what is going to come since it is on paper. However, what is on paper doesn’t always translate well when actually executed. I am even further worried by the upcoming changes to the classes and what the battle system will look and play like when the dust settles after the updates.

The changes made to the mage classes aren’t that exciting to me. Hell, as of now the mage classes in general aren’t that exciting to play. Yes, I can do a large amount of damage. Yes, I can do AoEs and stuff. But honestly speaking? The job is frustrating and a bore. With bugs on recast timers, I end up mashing buttons to get abilities and spells to execute properly. Because I can no longer queue abilities and spells, I have to wait for one to completely finish before I am able to attempt a different spell or ability. Trying to get magic up before a DoW can mow down the mob is incredibly frustrating and slow. Mage jobs in general is slow, but the idea of having it be slower AND getting little to no graphical change of spells? Can I have a pillow? And a blanket? Cause I’ll be snoring here in just a moment.

I know other games have such a feature where the spells and abilities get incremental upgrades and have no changes to their graphical look, but… for me the best part of being a mage was seeing those graphical changes as you gained each higher tier of magic.

I am probably crazy. No, I am crazy. I just can’t help but fret and worry. I blame SWToR and other games that have grabbed my interest more firmly at the moment.

Yoshi-P, things will get better– right? I’m already anxious 1.20 is coming out around the same time as early access to SWToR. My plaguing pessimism at the moment will hopefully go away in the near future, but right now I’m troubled and am in dire need of reassurance I know I won’t get.

Thanksgiving 2011

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I had wanted to write and post this earlier in the week, but refrained to collect thoughts and to also publish it when the actual date was appropriate: Thanksgiving! This year, I have found a lot to be thankful for and I felt that it was necessary to take the time to actually write them out.So, in no particular order, my thanks for this year:

 

1.) My boyfriend

We have gone through a lot, and most recently we are going through another harrowing trial with his visit being postponed, me going back to school, and my various maladies that have put the strain between us at times. I know I say many awful things about him and to him, but despite whatever happens I can’t imagine myself with anyone else and more importantly he has done a much better job handling me than anyone else has. I know I’m a handful and I even try his patience, but knowing he’s there for me is such a blessing despite the times we butt heads.

2.) My siblings

Family is important to me, and my siblings are especially so. Not just those related by blood, but those I consider and treat like a sibling. I’d be lost without them at times, because they keep me grounded, safe, and treat me just as well as I try to treat them. It drives my mother insane that I spoil my siblings, but I feel they deserve it and its all the more meaningful when they reciprocate feelings and thoughts. Which, in the end, matters to me most even if one is more stubborn than the other about how he feels about me. Let’s not even get to the twisted ways he likes to show his affections towards me…

3.) My family

My parents in particular have been very supportive of me this year. When I was let go from my job, had been thinking hard about whether or not I wanted to be a teacher, and then making the move to the medical field– they were there for me. When I was feeling really down and depressed, they were kind and supportive. They drive me insane at times, but whose parents don’t drive their child insane at times? Its a vicious cycle because I know their children drive them insane at times, too! I’ve grown especially closer to my mom lately, and I’ve found I regard my mother’s thoughts and opinions highly. Without her, I think I’d be even crazier than I am at times. I’m growing more thankful for having them in my lives and for them being my parents everyday, and even my sister found herself wishing that our mother could tag along with us on our shopping excursions. Who knew that my vehement hatred for my mother as a teenager could turn to be so different as I have grown older?

4.) Online Friends

Most of them don’t know the personal issues I am going with. That’s ok. I don’t want them to know all the gritty details. I like being the foul mouthed, highly opinionated, and insane self I would like to be around others but can’t. Everyone else I know has children, sensibilities, and aren’t bloody gamers, fans of anime/manga, or just plain ol’ geeks. The other “real life” friends are normal and boring in retrospect. These guys are the people I feel I can let my guard down and not worry so much about their opinions of me. Well, I do care in the back of my mind, but its not like it really changes how I act or feel around them. They are just people I with whom I can chill, relax, or get worked up over all at the same time. And they are cool and awesome and just as downright silly as I am at times. (Psst, did you know I used to be intimidated by Chaku? Now I think she’s just super awesome. Like me. Maybe better. SHE GETS IT.)

5.) IRL Friends

Some know the issues I am going with, and… uh… dropped the face of the earth. I’m not mad. One had very good reasons (and I am never going to fault her for it; I do wish she would at least say hi once in awhile so I know she is OK), and the other wasn’t really around for most of the year because she was traveling around the country. But those that are still around and being supportive, I am really thankful to them. I’ve always had a hard time making friends and I know I am not always a good one at times, but I try and feel I worked hard on a lot of things and relationships with people who were willing to talk to me and make things work. I cherish those people and their feedback to help me be better and stronger. They are also the people who treat ME like the younger sister and often look out for me; something I only experience with these kind, intelligent, and wonderfully strong women.

6.) Random Online People

Seriously, they amuse and entertain me. Once in awhile a few will piss me off. I can count a total of three in particular who just make me want to rage right now. But I won’t discard the good times we did have no matter how few and far between they were. For the most part, however, they have helped me by leaving insightful and thoughtful comments on twitter or on my blog and have been kind enough to support me as a uncertain and questionable blogger and podcaster.

7.) Religion

I don’t often bring up religion, because I often feel religion is a private matter. I just wanted to insert that without my religion, I think certain aspects of my life would be a little more f’ed up than the already are or were.

All About Friendships

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I am awake at this moment because right now I am angry. Angry because two days ago I was crying in an office over something that right now is making me fucking livid as shit; friends and friendships. Here is why: in real life, I don’t have many friends. The friends I do have are often from ladies that are older than myself and have a much different lifestyle that I currently have (i.e. they have a family with husband and child(ren)and I don’t). The other friends I have are online and I treasure them deeply because they fulfill a part of me that I can’t seem to get fulfilled outside of the bits of digital data flying all over the damn net. Which is why I was in the damn office crying my heart out; its hard finding the friends that I have found online in real life. The ones that play video games, won’t look at you funny because you do, and who won’t flinch when you go through a curse storm because you simply can. And most importantly… ones who can just get you and accept you for who you are; quirky personality bits and all.

So, when I am witnessing something that I feel is not right such as actions of people not treating their friendships with respect and care especially over a game– I lose my shit. I crave good friendships because they are hard to come by. Its like watching people waste food when you know there are people halfway around the globe unable to eat, but instead I am watching people shit on friendships that appear solid from the outside but is instead being shit on and tainted for ridiculous reasons. Just as I want to backhand people who waste food because they can, I want to backhand people who walk over friends because they feel that they can or that its worth it for stupid reasons.

Its times like this that I am happy to remember what my mom taught me about being humble. There is no shame in wanting the best or to be the best, but its different if it comes at the cost of others being trampled on for the quest of glory.

Ugh, fuck. I don’t even know if I am making any sense anymore because I am so damn tired and have been wanting to go to bed since 9 P.M. PST. I need to go to bed. I’m supposed to wake up early and listen to my Professor ramble about quadratic something-something at 8 A.M. So… yeah. Sleep. Hopefully when I wake up something good will happen in the morning, but I am not holding my breath on it.

Opinion: Dragoon Pets Can GTFO

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This was originally posted on Zantetsuken.net, but I’m reposting it here since it was originally intended to be posted here anyway. <.<;

I love Dragoons. Final Fantasy IX is one of my favorite games and I really adored Freya Crescent both on the battlefield and in the story. I’ll even admit to having a childhood crush on Kain Highwind from Final Fantasy IV, and thinking how awesome he was with his Jump abilities. So when I say I don’t want to see a wyvern as a damn pet for Final Fantasy XIV’s Dragoon, it’s for a damn good reason.

The aforementioned Dragoons are especially strong characters, and even the current LNC abilities in XIV is powerful enough to warrant some players to employ tactics that include a party largely made up of Lancers. Their Jump abilities is where they especially shine, allowing them to leap up into the air to great heights, avoiding their enemy’s attacks, and come crushing down on their opponent with great damage. In these games prior to XI, none of these Dragoons or Dragoon-like equivalents (more akin to being just a LNC or hybrid) had a pet. They didn’t need it! So then now comes the question regarding XI: But why did DRG in XI have a wyvern!? I’ll be frank; I have no damn clue and I won’t try to play it off like I do. I do, however, remember the time early in a DRG’s career when they were nerfed in the world of Vana’diel. The Dragoons had suffered in its reputation due to the fact their Wyvern easily fell in battle and could not be summoned again until after the two hour ability timer had refreshed. It had gone from awesome to lol to awesome again, but a lot of that took time for SE to fix the reputation that it had given DRG during its dark era. Time that I’m not very confident SE should devote to using for a pet job at this time.

Now some will bring up the argument for the Dragoon in FFXIII and that Fang herself is a Dragoon and has a “pet” and thus creating the argument that Dragoons for any game hereinafter Final Fantasy XI should have a pet. Why? Because Fang is apparently able to summon and use her Eidolon Bahamut in battle! First, let’s look at a few things here:

Eidolons. Typically in the Final Fantasy universe they are magical beings summoned by practitioners of the Summoning class. Its etymology is listed being a Greek word for a phantom image and Latin uses the word Idolum from which Idol is taken and is defined as a image or representation of something typically used in areas of worship. Both definitions seem to largely make up what we know about Eidolons/Summons/Avatars/Aeons/Espers/Guardian Forces. In many cases these creatures are typically summoned in times of great need; it’s not often you get to summon them nilly willy like it is in Final Fantasy XI.

The lore in Final Fantasy XIII regarding them is that they appear to I’Cie who are in deep despair to give the person hope and test their willpower and determination as evident of their ability to push them in a crisis situation with Doom. It is not to be confused with a pet that is a tamed creature that is kept as a companion and cared for. Beastmasters care for their pets and keep them as companions, and DRG in FFXI keep the wyvern as a companion that they care for and have are cared for in return. Summoners, on the other hand, do not keep their Eidolon as a “pet” and may only summon them for assistance. Even at that point, the Eidolons are not capable of always being with you and have to return to the astral plane at one point or another. And if you still want to argue that Bahamut is a pet, try imagining yourself telling that to Bahamut’s face and tell me if you honestly think you will walk out of that conversation unscathed.

That all said and done, I don’t believe that Dragoon can’t walk away with at least something here; I just firmly don’t believe that it has to come in the form of a pet. As Yoshida has mentioned, if they give the Dragoon a pet then something will have to give since they are now trying to balance two forms of damage into one without making it either too weak or too strong. However, if FFXIV dev team decided to take upon the route that they did for FFXIII with PSICOM Dragoon’s, then that is an altogether different story.

The PSICOM Dragoon ascribes to the original definition of what a Dragoon is; a mounted infantryman. They don’t use pole arms and instead use guns, but they are mounted fighters and work on perfecting their mounted fighting abilities. This is typically hard to implement in a game, and I can imagine why Final Fantasy XI took the idea and instead made it into a pet. Does that mean XIV should have a pet? Heaven’s no! Pet jobs are a mess. Final Fantasy XIV is still in a state that it has to prove itself to a largely skeptical community; adding in a pet job that could very well not be properly implemented the first time around like it was in FFXI could be disastrous for the game’s environment. Getting the job right the first time around and not turning it to another scenario of loldrg is what needs to be focused on. The inclusion of a pet and more specifically the wyvern is a superficial add-on that doesn’t necessarily add much to the game and adds more complexities where none need to be added.

As of right now, there is no good reason to allow Dragoons to have a pet that could potentially do more harm than good in the overall scheme of things. Arguments for its inclusion are non-existent to weak at best, with one primary one being, “Final Fantasy XI had it, so why can’t XIV?” Final Fantasy XI and XIV are two separate games now being directed at two entirely different people. Each Final Fantasy itself is different and right now XIV is hurting the most. If inclusion of the pet means that either: a.) DRG is pushed back or b.) DRG’s more deadly and more characteristic move Jump is nerfed then the addition of a wyvern is for naught. I’d rather see DRG kept to how it is at this time (without the inclusion of a wyvern or a pet of sorts) and see more focus placed on game mechanics and balancing of other current jobs in the game vs. implementing a pet system that is troublesome to begin with.